


ease my mind

by sxndazed



Category: Glee
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M, Post-Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-03
Updated: 2019-08-03
Packaged: 2020-07-30 15:07:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20099185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sxndazed/pseuds/sxndazed
Summary: Blaine wakes up in the middle of the night. // Blaine-centric.





	ease my mind

He wakes up in the middle of the night.

He usually sleeps through the night. His schedule is packed and busy enough that it's hard not to just close his eyes and fall asleep when his head hits the pillow. He's lucky if he gets eight hours, but he manages to get by.

Today was one of his busiest days this week. He had three back-to-back classes with a vocal lesson and a dance session and a yoga class at the gym he couldn't reschedule. His body is achy, his muscles sore from being pushed more than it's been in the last few weeks. His eyes are dry and sting a little. Exhaustion settles deep in his bones, but his mind won't shut up.

Today was one of his busiest days and he's _ so tired _, but his phone glows to show it's 3:15 in the middle of the night and he just can't fall back asleep.

He knows it's more productive to close his eyes and just wait until sleeps hits him. Resting his eyes is better than trying to exhaust them further by being on his phone, but he doesn't want to be surrounded by darkness at the moment. No, he wants to know where he is and _ know _ that it's different this time.

He usually sleeps through the night except for when something's changed. 

He had a hard time sleeping through the night when he transferred to Dalton. His eyes were a little red for a full week, but it wasn't all bad. He just straightened his back and carried on like he's used to doing.

He had a hard time when he started dating Kurt. He's not sure if it's the same because while it was mostly nerves and this constant mantra of _ you've got this, don't fuck it up _ going through his head, he also felt so loved and giddy with excitement (he didn't think it was love then, but it sort of was in retrospect).

It was hard when Kurt moved to New York. It was hard when they broke up, and it was hard when he moved there for the first time. He couldn't sleep when he moved out, even when he moved _ back in _, and he sure as hell couldn't sleep through the night when he moved back to Ohio.

So it's not really a surprise that he's awake at 3:15 two months into being in their new apartment.

He's careful to slide out of bed as quietly as he can. He grabs his phone from the side and slips out of the room with the door clicking close.

(He's sort of happy that there's an actual room to slip out of now.)

He flicks on the lights and grabs a glass from the cupboard to fill with water before hopping onto the counter and settling there.

He closes his eyes and takes a breath. When it's dark, he finds himself in a loop where things feel the same, like they haven't changed and won't ever change. He feels insecure, like his confidence is a skin that's wearing off far too quickly than it would have before. He feels small, smaller than he is and that he'll keep getting smaller until he disappears into nothing.

So he opens his eyes and tries to remember that things are _ different _this time.

He sees the hooks by the door where their keys are hanging. Kurt thinks keychains are kitschy but there was a little metal bird in plastic packaging waiting on the desk with a note attached saying "for my warbler x." 

(He bought Kurt a treble clef with a note attached saying "everything starts with you x.")

There's a list of phone numbers hanging on the fridge in case they lose their phones even though Kurt has all the important numbers memorized. There's a postcard from Burt and magnets they've somehow ended up with. 

There's a stack of sticky notes on the counter by the fridge for when they need to leave reminders (because reminders through text don't hold the same appeal). They've varied from "take out the trash when you're home" and "buy more apples please x" to "I'm out early so I couldn't say I love you, but I love you."

He sees the scratchy throw pillow that he _ hates _ but Kurt loves because of the colours, so he lets it live on couch as long as it's not near him when he's sitting. There's the throw that Kurt took out because it's getting cooler, and they love sitting on the couch curled up under it. 

His fingers skim the counter and bump against the meds he has to take in the morning. It's not like he forgets, but Kurt always makes sure to line them up so they're organized and ready. There's also a little booklet with the information on how to take each one written there in Kurt's handwriting. 

(He knows Kurt's memorized all of it ages ago, but it's still there just in case.)

There are two mugs on the drying rack. A Lima Bean one because "it's free and why not" but he knows it's really because Kurt misses home more often than not, and an Ohio Starbucks mug because it's cute and he misses home too.

He glances at his phone and sees that it's nearing 4:00. He hops off the counter and finishes off the water before washing the glass and putting it on the rack. 

The lights are off and the door creaks a little when he opens it. He slides back into bed and underneath the sheets when he hears shuffling.

"Blaine?" It comes out soft and tired.

"Yeah?"

"Y'okay?"

"Yeah."

He feels Kurt shuffle over and press a kiss to his shoulder.

"Luff you." It's a little muffled because Kurt's face is squished into the pillow, but Blaine's heart warms all the same.

"Love you too."

He hears Kurt's breathing even out, and his eyes begin to droop. He reaches out and grabs Kurt's hand, squeezing it before letting go.

He closes his eyes.

Yeah, it's different this time.


End file.
